I’ve Googled many a questionable phrase in my day.
It appears, though, that as the years wear on….the subject matter of my searches has become increasingly less-interesting, and is scarily reflective of how lame I’ve become.
Back in my colorful college days, you could have found such nonsense in my search history as (er, nonsense which I’m choosing to disclose):
“margaritas to-go austin, texas”
“joe’s towing austin, texas”
“managerial accounting for dummies”
“austin police station”
“how to cure a vicious hangover”
“free parking on 6th street”
Tonight, friends, THIS was what just went down in my Google search history:
“what to pack for first day of daycare”
Like, are we really being serious?! I’m like, Queen Bee when it comes to list-making…however this was the first list that reaffirmed my fallibility. In my repertoire of lists, I have a daily To-Do List, a revolving To-Do List that goes EVERYWHERE with me, keep a Grocery List taped to the edge of the counter in the kitchen….and never forget the proverbial Bucket and Mental Lists. HELL, at the peak of my cluelessness — I was even able to come up with a “Hospital Bag List” for my birthing vacay. But this mother has thrown me for a LOOP!
My little one has been on a waitlist here in town for over 6 months for day care at one of the local churches. We were stoked to get the phone call last week, notifying us that his turn had come to enroll, as a kid in his age group has been bumped up into an older class. Fortunately to this point (he’s 15m old) my mother and grandmother have absorbed full-time baby duty while we’ve worked…..giving US peace of mind — and HIM a 100% ooey-gooey spoiling environment to enjoy! However, he needs to be around other kids — at least occasionally — and there’s no other place I’d rather him be than with the nice ladies at his ‘school.’
Now with that said, back to my recent lapse in resourcefulness…
So Ryder’s first day of ‘school’ is tomorrow, and it didn’t dawn on me until just now (8:57pm the night before) that he’s not just going to Grandma’s House tomorrow. I need to be prepared to cry! I need to be prepared to feel guilty, selfish — and ironclad all at the same time. We’re already a few hundred bucks deep into this commitment, so I need to be prepared to stand my ground and not give in the minute he looks up at me and wells up at the utter disgust he feels for me leaving him with all these snot-nosed strangers and their keepers! I need to be prepared to walk away from him, knowing this is the FIRST time I’ve ever left him in the hands of ANY stranger! I need to PREPARE a bag for all of these shanannigans to take place….or those keepers are REALLY gonna hate me for dropping off a screaming and sorrowful teething toddler — with no directions, no instructions, no utensils — and no regrets. I would be a bad, bad mommy.
Somewhere between a delicious piece of cheesecake and my list of necessities (extra diapers, wipes, clothes, food, etc…), I begin over-thinking this whole daycare thing by wondering if I’m supposed to bring cookies or a box of goodies, or something, for my son’s inaugural day at ‘school.’ (??!) You know there’s always that mom that’s extra-thoughtful that brings all the kids a cellophane-wrapped doily with some appropriate treat in the middle!
What should I bring? I know my kid reacts a bit questionably in new environments, so should I bring a round of coffees (laced with Kahlua!) or kolaches as a peace offering to the keepers for their plight? Have all the other moms brought treats? Is that even ALLOWED!? I don’t want to be that one derelict mom whose kid immediately becomes the laughing stock of the Blue Room because his mom didn’t bring any offerings to her kid’s first day of school.
…Yeah, THAT negligent beast that spent the entire night before blogging about whether or not to bring said peace offering to class…and ended up NOT doing it after all!
It was then that I turned to the good people at Google and brought them my troubles. After perusing a variety of results, I realized that no one really had a good answer for me other than ‘bring extras of EVERYTHING.’ Well DUH. I scoured many a mommy-blog, to no avail. It seems I’m, indeed, the only overly-thoughtful mommy in this BIZ that ever considered bringing goodies to their child’s first day of school. Psha! DOUBTFUL.
But alas, I spent this entire evening packing, catching up on old Chelsea Lately episodes and blogging. I may forever be regarded as that heartless mommy that dropped her inconsolable superstar off at daycare for his first day — and didn’t even bring an armload of Sausage McMuffins!
…and better yet, cupcakes or no cupcakes, I’m going to bed tonight with the peace of mind of knowing I’ll spend the entire day tomorrow, and the coming weeks at the *very top* of one of my most highly coveted Lists: Ryder’s SH*T List.
Please advise: No cookies or delicious treats were made during the production of this blog entry.
