I got took.
As if the geniuses at Apple, Inc. aren’t brilliant enough, they’ve gone and made a damn fool out of this one right here.
I’m not normally the type of person that can be mindlessly manipulated by clever advertising campaigns, find practical use in As Seen On TV whatchamacallits, or be easily lubed by a slick sales pitch. But do it in the name of Apple, and watch this girl get weak….
Apple just released its newest version of the iPhone, so I did the dirty and updated my iPhone 4 with the new iOS software to stay hip to the latest-and-greatest. It was like I had a whole new phone!! Just like that new pair of tennis shoes that made you feel like you could run faster and jump higher, I thought I could talk clearer, text faster and Words With Friends with exceptional ease. I’ve been most excited about the introduction of iCloud, which will enable automatic sync of media — which has always been my biggest complaint about the iPhone thus far. I couldn’t wait to get home and tell my MacBook, iPad and AppleTV what I’d done! Sounds yuppie, I get it, but I already predicated this story by admitting these jokers at Apple have me wrapped. I took the bait, I’m a sucker, OK….moving on….
Get home and begin running my updates, and learn that in order to properly sync-up all of your Mac products and get them iCloud-ready, one must have the latest-and-greatest-most-fancypants-version of Mac’s operating system (OS X). That’ll be $29.99, please and thank you…..hit it or quit it, Love, Apple.
So I caved and spent the next three hours purchasing and downloading Mac OS X Lion. All in the name of iCloud. I got $29.99, whatev.
So I’ve got Mac OS X Lion now, I proceed with the sync of the iPad and an hour later, I have it updated with all the new iOS stuff it needs to do this whole iCloud thing, and now I have all my devices ready to jump off the proverbial bridge to pop culture file sharing bliss (with the exception of AppleTV)!
Slow down.
My primary goal in all of this is to have my photos and music sync wirelessly across each of my devices, for obvious reasons. Ahem. That’ll be another $14.99. You’re almost there, SUCKERRRR — cough it up and just continue playing along….Love, Apple. Like are we really being serious here.? Period AND question mark. I have to have iPhoto 11 if I want to iCloud, and if I want iCloud, I have to pay to play. Son of a—
The time between me making this discovery and selecting the “Buy” button was literally a nanosecond, and I’m admittedly ashamed of the degree of my addiction to all-things-Mac. It took me a grand 5 hours to complete the entire download…..WAIT!!!…purchase-AND-download, update, restart process…and by this time, I’d had too much wine to discern whether or not I’d retained the proper address books, calendars, email settings, photos, music, etc. across each device. I took my blushing butt to bed.
Next morning, and to my own dismay, my little one comes trotting into the bathroom with the iPad and tells me it’s broken.
Silly two-year-old…
I. HOPE. TO. GOD. YOU’RE. LYING.
I fiddle around with said expensive inter-generational toy, and find that Little Homie is SO right. NONE of the 100+ apps we had on our iPad work anymore. Wait, NONE of the apps except for the ones that are developed by Apple. Those work just fine. Go flippin’ figure.
How do I explain this to the two-year-old? iCloud works perfectly…..Baby Einstein and Music Sparkles are a bust. Epic mommy fail. Ugh……
Suffice it to say I’ve yet to update the AppleTV to allow for automatic iTunes and photo streaming for home use. I’m looking for a new addiction, because at this juncture, being a MAChead is proving to be unsuccessful in my personal and financial pursuits. If anyone has any suggestions for how to cure a Mac addiction, I’m all ears….because Mac is WHACK!
PS: I realize this is a departure from the purpose of this blog, which is intended to remain Central Texas-centric……but I had to do it. Would somebody please pass the vino….???
Comments
Conrad Botwin
Looks like they got you. I had the very first Iphone when it came out in 06. (don’t quote me on the year) My mind is still kinda fuzzy from all the sand in my ears from Iraq. But anyway, I believe that you should have got on iTunes and downloaded your Apps there before you did any type of updates to your devices. You should be able to hook it back up and do a restore. Don’t quote me on that either. It’s worth a try. I’m a PC guy. I love the title of your post iFail. Very whitty. I have one even better iThunderstorm. I enjoy reading your posts.
November 7, 2011 at 7:45 am
Jonathan Packer
November 7, 2011 at 10:19 pm
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